SEX WORK TOOLKIT

Tools for Customers

Visiting a Sex Worker

Sex work is work. Some sex workers have been subjected to acts of extreme violence and hostility. In order to ensure that sex workers are safe and to alleviate the possibility of violence, here are suggested guidelines and codes of conduct to follow:

  • Sex workers are human beings and should be treated with the same respect that you give to yourself and to others.
  • Pay up front and respect that prices are non-negotiable.
  • Communicate about any STIs or medical conditions that may impact the sex worker(s), especially HIV, which all Canadians have a legal obligation to disclose. Don’t be shy! Disclosure is expected and welcome. 
  • If you would like to extend your appointment with a sex worker, ask to renegotiate, but remember that only the scheduled hour may be available.
  • Condoms are expected and are worn for your health and safety as well as for the health and safety of the sex worker.
  • In order to ensure a satisfying visit, read/ ask about the provider’s services, pricing, and boundaries, and communicate your own. Be upfront with your wants and needs, and ask questions you may have. Services vary between sex workers. Respect their right to refuse. 
  • Take a shower and clean all body parts thoroughly before your time with a sex worker.
  • Check in with the provider about their policies around substance use during your time together, including alcohol. Consider taking harm reductive measures if you/ the provider are using substances, and be aware of your and the provider’s boundaries around consent while using. 
  • Communicate your understanding of and needs around consent, particularly when it comes to bondage, domination, sadism, masochism, and kink play. For example, what are your safe words? What are the provider’s safe words? What body language should you all look for for signs of yes, no, or maybe? 
  • If you have any questions or concerns, don’t be afraid to voice them at any time

On the Street

When you request services of a sex worker on the street, be mindful of the neighbourhood you are in. Due to stigma, businesses and residents can be unhappy about the presence of sex work in their neighbourhood.

Here are some suggestions to help you remain mindful of the residents who live in communities where there is street-level sex work.

  • If sex workers have places to take you, let them bring you there.
  • Most sex workers who are working on the street do not charge by the hour but by the service. Always pay in advance in cash and do not try to bargain.
  • Not everyone on the street is involved in sex work. If you approach people who you believe are sex workers and they do not respond to you, do not harass them.
  • Respect the neighbourhoods you are in by not engaging in sexual relations in schoolyards and other public places where there may be children and families.
  • Discard anything you use appropriately, including used condoms, garbage, used needles, pipes, or other substance use tools. Try not to leave them on the street, because this can negatively impact sex workers working in the area, as well as people who live or work nearby. 
  • Always leave your doors unlocked while the sex worker is in your vehicle.
  • When driving in residential neighbourhoods, keep to the legal speed limit.
  • Do not continue to circle the neighbourhood simply to observe sex work activity. Noise pollution in residential neighbourhoods can contribute to resident unrest and frustration that can negatively affect sex workers. 
  • Never, ever, cruise children or approach them.

Respect and No Violence

Treat sex workers with respect. 

It is unacceptable to be verbally, sexually, or physically aggressive towards a sex worker. This behaviour is a criminal offence and carries the possibility of a criminal charge. If you assault a sex worker, you are no longer a client. You are a perpetrator of violence. If a sex worker reports an assault to a law enforcement officer or frontline organization, warnings of the assault can appear on local police reports and/or bad date reports. Bad date reports anonymously report anything that happened to a sex worker that they would not want to happen to anyone else. Bad date reports are legal and follow legal limitations on the kinds of information that they can share. If you do not want to be in a bad date report, treat sex workers with respect.

Know what assault is

It is an assault if…

  • you are verbally, sexually or physically aggressive towards a sex worker or if you threaten to inflict bodily harm
  • you use physical force to control, confine or hurt
  • you know you are HIV+ or have another STI and do not disclose your status before a sexual encounter
  • you remove a condom (“stealthing”)
  • you touch a sex worker in a way that they are uncomfortable with and you’ve been asked to stop
  • you force a sex worker to perform a sexual act that was not negotiated in advance as part of a service, or a sexual act that they have not agreed to give
  • you steal money from a sex worker

Sexual assault is a criminal offence. There are laws in Canada around consent and  sexual assault. These laws apply to all situations involving sexual activity.

The Women’s Legal Education and Action Fund describes The Criminal Code of Canada’s definition of no consent as:

  • Someone says or does something that shows they are not consenting to an activity
  • Someone says or does something to show they are not agreeing to continue an activity that has already started
  • someone is incapable of consenting to the activity, because, for example, they are unconscious
  • the consent is a result of a someone abusing a position of trust, power or authority
  • someone consents on someone else’s behalf.

A person cannot say they mistakenly believed a person was consenting if:

  • that belief is based on their own intoxication; or
  • they were reckless about whether the person was consenting or;
  • they chose to ignore things that would tell them there was a lack of consent; or
  • they didn’t take proper steps to check if there was consent

People working in the sex industry still have the right to refuse any sexual activity at any time. 

Don’t be shy to ask the provider you would like to see about their needs around consent, and communicate your own.